Loveology
by lunakain
Summary: "There are no simple love stories. If it's simple, it's not love. If it's love, it'll get complicated."
1. Prologue

**Loveology - Prologue**

**by Luna Kain**

"There is no simple love stories. If it's simple, it's not love. If it's love, it'll get complicated."

Hi!

I've been an avid fanfiction reader for many years and finally, I got the courage to write and publish my story. I think this story will have many chapters as it's a complex plot. So far, I only wrote the first chapter the whole idea is set, just need to write it down. I can be quick to update or not, depending on the reviews/support I get. The incentive is always a great help to finish a story! Also, English is not my mother language so, please, go easy on me!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Sailor Moon or any of its characters. They belong to Naoko Takeuchi

**8 Years Ago**

Usagi, at 26 years old, a graduate in psychology, was starting an internship in a local clinic. To say Usagi's love life was a mess, that was an understatement. While all her friends had a relatively normal love life, she had taken the dangerous route, 'the friends with benefits' kind of relationship. Everyone knows this never works, right? But why she had chosen to put herself in this predicament? She wasn't that 'type of girl' or 'she could find a better guy' was the repeating the mantra in her head. But instead, she gave in. Why? He was absolutely addictive.

Usagi's friend Mina was the one she could talk openly about her 'relationship' issue. Unlike the other girls, Rei, Makoto, and Ami, Mina was more adventurous and open-minded, despite having a steady boyfriend for the last 2 years. To ease her mind and feelings, Usagi relied on Mina on a daily basis for support and some sanity.

She met this guy Mamoru online, through her social media profile. In fact, he was the one who took the first step, sending her a very candid message: _'I love your stunning eyes'_, he had said. His straightforward behavior hadn't shocked her, because she was single and searching, and this kind of message through social networks was quite common. That same day, they exchanged phone numbers and at night he sent her a message saying _'wishing you goodnight, beautiful face'_. From there until they met for the first time, only a few days went by. They arranged to meet at a small coffee shop by the beach and the meeting didn't go badly. But it wasn't wonderful either. After so many wonderful messages exchanged, the atmosphere was a little strange, to say the least. Maybe because they were face to face for the first time without the digital filter or being able to hide behind a keyboard. Who would have thought that the cheeky guy also had some shyness! Or was it because he thought she was ugly? When their 'date' ended, Usagi was sure things would end there, but she was wrong. Later that night, she got another message from Mamoru: _'It was nice to meet you, we have to do it again. Sleep well, beautiful.' _She was dazed. Had she missed something? All clues indicated the meeting had been awkward, but that message indicated the opposite. Usagi was now sure that she no longer understood the male population. Why do they behave in a way when they want to demonstrate something completely different? And women are famous for being complicated! Seriously! When thinking in more detail about her date, reality had to settle in. There was something Mamoru enabled in her as if there was an invisible force pulling her towards him. To remain indifferent to his figure was impossible: attractive, black hair, tanned skin and behind the shirt he wore, apparently, a fabulous body. Just thinking about him made Usagi swallowing dry, her body temperature rising up to dangerous levels, followed by a strange sensation in her stomach. What the hell he was doing to her?

On the second date, they had their first kiss. She felt stunned, just before they exchanged their goodbyes he took the initiative and stole a kiss from her. By far, the best kiss she had ever had. Intense, consuming, wild and fierce, all at the same time. Not that she was inexperienced in the matter but that kiss made her feel groundless, completely surrendered to the passionate and overwhelming feelings that made her body vibrate along with his.

And after that, what? Were they a couple? Was Mamoru her boyfriend now? No, this was not even a topic for a conversation. Everything just flowed like a dangerous chain of events. Sometimes they met for coffee and had a little chat, other days, everything was pure intense and passionate sex.

For Usagi, the experience was so overwhelming that refrained her from talking to him and clarify the kind of relationship they had. But as time went by, she couldn't help but feel uncomfortable and anxious. Her friend Mina had warned her that it would be a matter of time before she started falling in love with him and when that happened, if it hadn't already happened, she would get hurt. And quite frankly, the sex was fantastic, but what Usagi needed was a boyfriend. A partner to just not talk or kiss every day but also to love and support her at all times and do normal things as couples do. That's when she made the decision to have a forthright conversation with Mamoru. The curious thing was when they sat down to talk, his nervous smile showed that he already knew what kind of conversation they were going to have. Perhaps it wouldn't be the first time he was in that situation? Mamoru was very honest with her, telling Usagi he didn't want a relationship, he wasn't prepared to take that big step, assuring Usagi it had nothing to do with her, quite the contrary, he liked and was attracted to her. Mamoru even used an example of a girl who approached him recently and has been very persuasive in winning him over.

"I could have got involved with her but I didn't want to. She is not an attractive person to me and I don't want her." His example made Usagi very nervous. For him, everything was about appearance? Mamoru was undoubtedly extremely honest and had no problem demonstrating it but why he had the need to tell her this? Didn't he understand this bothered her? Usagi recalled Mina's reaction to this…_"Be careful, he's manipulating you and trying to make you feel special so you don't leave him". _As hard as it was for her to admit, Mina was right. That day she cried herself to sleep, finally acknowledging the vulnerable situation she had placed herself in: fallen in love with Mamoru. Consequently, her feelings blocked her judgment, weakening and lowering her guard. Against her reasoning, she met him a few more times and the last time they were physically together, the couple's dynamic changed. The way they made love was more pleasant, more delicate and unhurried. As if there was a frantic need to feel their bodies in tune with the lascivious need of each other. After the lovemaking, they were lying down hugging each other with her head laying on his chest. For the first time, she felt a huge inner peace and love, a connection slowly bonding deep into her soul. Usagi needed that love and affection, but he could not give it to her, or at least not in the way she wanted and needed. For that reason, she needed to be consistent with herself. She needed to stop seeing him and move on with her life.

In the following weeks, Usagi met another guy online. He was completely the opposite of Mamoru but, given the circumstances, that was good. An opportunity to finally free herself from the feelings that kept assaulting her every day. And the fact that Mamoru hadn't kept in touch or sent a message in the last few weeks made her feel that, even though so empty inside, this was the right thing to do.

That's when Mamoru started texting her again. This time, Usagi was firm and told him she had met another person and hopefully, the relationship would bloom, to which he shortly replied, _'Okay_'. But Mamoru wasn't done with it and the level of the conversations escalated, where Mamoru turned became possessive with her. His messages were daily and frantic: _'Where are you?', 'Do you miss me?', 'If I caught you now, I'd kiss you senseless'_… Mamoru tried to break Usagi and she was beyond angry._ 'Why now?' 'Did he think he was in charge of her?' 'All he had to do was snap his fingers to have her back?'_ Mamoru was a master in manipulation and knew very well his power over Usagi. Usagi snapped on him, but we fought back.

"There is no way around. We're meant to be together, don't you see that? You know we can't resist each other."

"Please stop. I can't take this anymore! Go on with your life. Someday you'll find someone to fall in love with, eventually, get married, and you won't even remember me anymore. Do that and I'll do the same. End of story."

"No. Even if I married someone, I wouldn't give up on you."

"What? Are you kidding me?! Do you think I would have had an affair with you as a married man? Now you're insulting me! How can you think so low of me? A meaningless bitch, who lives to satisfy your desires?"

"Of course not. You'd be my exclusive bitch." He said chuckling.

"Fuck you, Mamoru! I hate you!" Usagi screamed over the phone.

"That's why this could only be solved if you married me…"

Usagi hung up the call, she couldn't hear him anymore. She felt so stupid for loving him, it felt like a curse she couldn't get rid of. A few seconds later her smartphone signaled a new message from Mamoru saying: _'Marry Me'_. Even though she didn't take it seriously, she froze when reading these two words as tears flowed freely over her face. Shortly after, she replied: _'Stop messing with me. Quit with this charade and leave me alone!' _Mamoru promptly replied: _'Usagi, I'm serious. Where are you? I'll meet you and even bring a bunch of flowers, kneel down and propose to you so you can see how serious I am. Come on, let's talk.' _Usagi was on her breaking point and turned off her phone. Apparently, Mamoru gave up easily as for several weeks he didn't contact her anymore. Usagi had a bad feeling about it but tried not to think about it anymore, determined to move on for good. Unfortunately, her relationship with Mamoru was like a crazy roller coaster ride and she knew that somehow he would contact her again. And he did but this time with news that would change their fate forever.

He apologized for the lack of contact but he had been in the hospital. Usagi remembered that, during their 'dates', he sometimes complained of stomach pains but the doctors mistakenly thought it was just a case of bad digestion. His pain became unbearable and had to be rushed into the hospital where the grueling diagnosis had been confirmed: He had stomach cancer and had to remove part of his stomach immediately due to the concern and the possibility that it might have spread to other organs. And all this happened within a few weeks. Mamoru, only 28 years old, had an advanced stage cancer and the prospects were not good at all. Mamoru needed to meet Usagi personally and she didn't hesitate _'Sure, let's meet'_.

From then on, their relationship changed dramatically, spending almost every day talking on the phone. They talked about the most trivial things, funny things and their daily routines. Despite everything had happened between them, Usagi felt she needed to help him. As time was running by, the doctors had less hope in his recovery, predicting that he would only have a few months left but Mamoru wanted to challenge the odds. Somehow he heard about a revolutionary treatment in Germany and was determined to try it. He had nothing else to lose. But first, he asked Usagi what she thought about is and she gave him the strength and optimism he needed. There was a light at the end of the tunnel and that was his chance to live. Before he left Japan, Mamoru called Usagi with a weak and gasping voice which had recently become customary due to the aggressive treatments he had to undergo in order to be able to fight the terrible disease.

"I wish things had been different between us. There are so many things that I regret and I wanted to ask you if, maybe we could start all over again in the right way?" Aked Mamoru

"Mamoru, now this is not the time to worry about that. Focus on your treatment, that's the most important thing."

At the same time as this was going on, Usagi was ending her internship and she became too busy with work. Every day she left work very late at night and couldn't find the availability to talk to Mamoru as she would like to. One night, Usagi noticed a missed call from him on her smartphone but she decided to call him the next day. The next day, equally frantic, Usagi finally found time to call him at the end of the day but he never answered. She tried again but nothing. After dinner, when checking her smartphone again, there was a missed call from Mamoru and a voice mail message. That message shuttered her ground.

"Hello. I'm Mamoru's friend. I'm very sorry but he passed away today. Thank you so much for everything."

Usagi let out a guttural scream and everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Loveology - Chapter 1**

**by Luna Kain**

First, I want to thank TropicalRemix for the review, lashun316 and Flame Darkmoon for following this story. I hope you're all enjoying it!

Here's the new chapter and you'll notice how the tension is building up and many surprises are on the way. Please review! Sorry for any grammatical errors :)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Sailor Moon or any of its characters. They belong to Naoko Takeuchi

**Eight years later...**

"Hello, girls!" said Usagi smiling at her friends, who were waiting for her, sitting at the restaurant table.

"Hi, Usagi." said Ami while the other friends waved back. "How are you?"

"Tired, but good. The work at the hospital is mentally exhausting, you know?"

"Oh, I fully relate to you..."

"Hey, can we stop talking about hospitals, please? Suddenly this conversation is depressing me." Said Rei, with an annoying tone.

"And how are things... Well, you know, with the... What's his name again?" Mina asked.

"His name is Seiya, Mina." said Usagi, rolling her eyes. "How many times do I have to repeat it?"

"What do you want me to say, I don't like him very much? He's kind of weird..." said Mina, while the other girls nodded, sharing the same opinion.

"Don't worry, Mina. Nothing is going on between us, and I don't intend to."

"That's good! Girl, you can do better than that..." said Mina, winking at her friend.

"Yeah, in the last few months you've been working so hard and with Seiya always hovering over you, I don't know how you can handle it. You really need to build a life outside that hospital." Makoto said.

Usagi was working at the Azabu's Hospital in Tokyo. She was part of a multidisciplinary team in the Cancer Treatment and Prevention Department. After what happened to her eight years ago, this choice made perfect sense to her. Now, more than ever, she felt fulfilled in being able to help her patients and their families with the psychological support they needed. Usagi absolutely loved the work environment and her team, but there was, however, one therapist who took a sudden interest in her when she joined the team and has spent the last few months trying to convince her to go out on a date with him, without success. Seiya, his name, was an excellent professional, but too pushy and Usagi did not handle this pressure very well. The best she could do was trying to avoid him as much as she could, even though it was difficult because they were working in the same place.

"I am not interested in him or any other man. Right now I'm unconditionally focused on my career." Usagi said, confidently.

"Usagi, darling... You know that we all love you and want to see you happy. We know how much you love your job and career, but you have to agree when we say you need to disconnect a little from that environment, as Mako said. Please consider that." Ami stated worried, as Usagi looked away to the ground.

"We just don't want to see you again the way we did eight years ago..." Makoto pleaded.

**FLASHBACK**

_"Rei, I need your help! Usagi is not answering her phone and I'm worried!" Mina screamed in panic as she knocked on Rei's apartment door._

_"Hey! Are you trying to bring my door down? What happened?" asked Rei when opening the door._

_"You know that Usagi and I talk every Friday, but today she hasn't called me as she usually does and is not answering her phone. It's so out of her character and I can't help but have a bad feeling about it. Do you still have her apartment key?" __Mina asked quickly, almost breathlessly._

_"Yeah, I think so. Wait, let me check."_

_After confirming she had the key, both friends rushed their friend's apartment and when they arrived, Usagi's car could be seen parked in the driveway. Usagi was at home, but why didn't she answer her phone? What had happened?_

_As soon as they arrived at the door, Rei promptly put the key in the lock to open it while Mina, who was behind her, was screaming desperately._

_"Usagi! Usagi, are you there? Please answer!"_

_Entering the apartment, __they found Usagi lying on the floor with her phone not far from her hand._

_"Usagi!" Rei yelled as she knelt on the ground and Mina patted Usagi's face, trying__ to wake her up._

_"Rei, she is not responding! Please call an ambulance!"_

_Later, in the hospital, the remaining friends joined Rei and Mina in the hospital waiting room. The tension was palpable with all of them worrying about Usagi's state, having no clue of what might have happened to her. __Moments later, a doctor arrived in the room._

_"Are you all here for Tsukino Usagi?"_

_"Yes, Doctor. How is she?" Ami asked._

_"We suspect she went into a psychic shock and passed out. This happens when the body faces an extreme stress situation, goes into a state of crisis, and shuts down. Do you know what could have caused it?"_

_"No, nothing... I talked to her yesterday, and she seemed normal. Usagi is under stress from work these days, but nothing out of the ordinary." Stated Mina._

_"Probably some bad news?" The Doctor asked, to which all girls denied, shaking their heads. "Anyway, you might as well try to talk to her and figure out what happened. We will monitor her, so if you need anything, contact a nurse immediately."_

_"Thank you, Doctor." Ami said. "Can I go first?" Ami asked her friends. "I think it would be better if I try to talk to her, __calmly.__ We shouldn't all go at the same time."_

_Ami carefully entered the room where Usagi was lying on the bed. "Usagi?" Ami whispered, approaching the bed. Usagi began to move and slowly opening her eyes, facing Ami. __As soon as she recognized her friend's face, her eyes burrowed._

_"Ami! Please help me! Someone called me saying Mamo... Oh, no... Please tell me it's not true!" Usagi shouted incoherently, pulling her friend's arms._

_"Usagi, calm down! Who are you talking about?"_

_"I have to go, oh my God... How long have I been here? Where's my cell phone?" Blurted Usagi, looking around the room and trying to get up from the bed._

_"Usagi, please stop and explain to me what happened!" Ami begged, desperate to keep Usagi in bed. A nurse heard the commotion in the hallway and entered the room immediately._

_"What's going on here?"_

_"Please help me! She's trying to get out of bed and I don't have the strength to hold her."_

_"Let me give her a sedative, __it will calm her down in no time.__"_

_"No, Ami! Get me out of here! I have to go, please help me!" Pleaded Usagi, crying._

_"Usagi, tell me what's going on! If you don't tell me, I can't help you."_

_"Ami..." __Usagi sighed, defeated, between the sobs. __"Mamoru died... I don't want to believe he's dead! Tell me this is just a nightmare..." Usagi urged, clinging at Ami's blouse as the nurse injected the sedative. Soon she fell asleep and Ami returned to her friends._

_"I think I know what caused Usagi's shock. Mamoru died." Ami revealed as the others gasped in surprise._

_"Poor Usagi! She had told me they diagnosed Mamoru with cancer a few months ago and the doctors gave him little time to live, but I never thought it would be so fast. He had even planned to go to Germany to try some new treatment. But how did she know? Who could have told her?"_

_"I don't know, but I'm sure the answer will be on her mobile phone." Rei said while looking at her friend's phone in her hand._

_After a search on Usagi's mobile phone, they found the voice message that Mamoru's friend had left._

_"That was it! She must have fainted after hearing this message." Exclaimed Makoto._

_"Now, what we do?" Ami sighed._

_"We support her. It will be hard, but time will help." Mina said._

_"Hope you're right, Mina." sighed Rei._

_The following weeks weren't easy. Usagi had lost her joy and ongoing character, shutting down from the world around her. __In the first days, denial settled in. She kept calling Mamoru's number repeatedly until one day, the number was no longer available, which made her stop. The girls were concerned that Usagi was repressing her emotions, but she __decisively __refused__ to grieve__. It was now clear how much Usagi's feelings for Mamoru were powerful and profound, __and to make things worse, __her relationship with Mamoru was never clear __or conveniently discussed, __with too many unanswered questions that would remain forever unanswered. Maybe this was inhibiting her from having some closure, but her friends were determined to help and support her all the way. Usagi, being a psychologist, had all the tools to help herself but never thought everything she had learned so far could be so useless._

_Months quickly turned into years and time, eventually, softened her pain. During that time, she enrolled in the psycho-oncology specialization course in the hope this would give her a purpose and a reason to feel alive again._

"Don't worry Mako, I'm fine," Reassured Usagi. "And please, no more lectures, okay? I'm starving!"

"There you go, our Usagi is back!" Exclaimed Rei, and the group erupted in laughter.

**UZABU'S HOSPITAL - NEXT MONDAY**

"Usagi, good morning! How you're doing?" A male voice asked behind Usagi.

"Good morning, Motoki! I'm good, what about you?" Usagi enthusiastically replied when turning around, facing her colleague.

"Good, good. Did you hear the news? Our team is about to grow; a new doctor is joining us in the next days."

"Oh, that's great! We really need that extra help, these past months have been crazy, right?" Motoki nodded. "By the way, how is Rita?"

"Big!" Exclaimed Motoki, surprising Usagi. "I'm joking! She keeps saying that, but to me, she's beautiful no matter what."

"I'm so happy for you two." Said Usagi, smiling.

"Thanks, Usagi. Well, I need to go, have a consultation now. Oh, and one more thing, Seiya is looking for you."

"Seriously, can't he give me a break?!" Asked Usagi, incredulous.

"Guess not." Laughed Motoki. "Watch your back, ne? Bye, Usagi!"

"Thanks, Motoki. Bye!"

Motoki was the leading doctor in Usagi's team and when she met him, they immediately became great friends. He was married to Reika, a nurse also on their team and now on maternity leave, and they were now expecting their first child.

After the brief conversation with Motoki, Usagi decided to go to his office right away to avoid meeting Seiya. Her patience level in the morning was dangerously low.

But unfortunately, her luck was short-lived because a few minutes later, Seiya entered her office.

"Hey Usa, good morning! How's everything? The weekend was good?"

"Why don't you knock before you come in? I could be busy, you know?" Usagi asked, angrily.

"Sorry, sorry! I promise I won't do it again." Said Seiya, hands raised in surrender. "Then, why are you angry? Was the weekend bad?"

"No, Seiya. Just a plain, normal weekend. What do you need?" Usagi leaned back on the chair, folding her arms.

"Seriously, what's the problem? You've never been that harsh on me or anyone else. What's going on?"

"I'm sorry, didn't want to sound harsh. Just a lot of things in my head lately."

"See... If I'd taken you out, we could have had fun." Seiya said suggestively, approaching slowly Usagi's table almost in a predatory way.

"I told you Seiya, now it isn't a good time." Usagi said, standing up decided to make him leave.

"When it will be a good time, then?" Seiya whispered, grabbing her arm and pushing her body to his.

"Let me go, Seiya. By force, I'm sure it won't be." Usagi dared, looking right into his eyes.

"All I ever asked you was for one chance, so we could get to know each other better. I don't understand why you're still reluctant about that." He said in a menacing voice.

"I don't enjoy being pushed, Seiya. Especially at the workplace when I have a lot more to think about than you and your selfishness. You need to understand that when someone says no, it's no." Usagi firmly replied, pulling her arm out of his hands. "I told you we can be friends, but I'm not looking for a relationship with anyone right now. Respect that, please."

"Just one date and I'm sure you couldn't resist me…" Seiya whispered, advancing quickly to Usagi making her walk backwards to escape his advances, but quickly her back collided with the wall and Seiya's face became dangerously close to hers. "I want you so bad Usagi since the first day I saw you…" She instantly put her hands on Seiya's chest to pull him off her when the door suddenly opened.

"Usagi! I have the reports…" Naru, Usagi's assistant, dropped all her papers in shock with the unfolding scene in front of her. "Is everything ok?" Naru nervously asked.

"Yes, everything is great and Seiya here was just leaving. Right?" Said Usagi quickly returning to her desk.

"See you later…" Said Seiya, leaving the room with a smirk on his face. His eyes never leaving hers until the door closed on his face.

"Usagi, are you ok? Did he hurt you?!" Naru asked, desperately.

"Oh, I'm fine Naru. Don't worry." Replied Usagi, trying to minimize the occurrence.

"That doesn't seem fine, Usagi. You should report him; he's crossing the line!"

"I can handle him. Besides, patients love him so much, I wouldn't have the heart to keep him off the team. You worry too much, dear Naru, Seiya doesn't frighten me."

"If you say so, but please be careful. Well, I need to bring a few more reports, I'll be right back." Said Naru when leaving the room and Usagi let out a desperate sigh.

Naru, still nervous about what happened, was walking frantically without paying attention to her surroundings until she collided with another person.

"Oh, I am so sorry! I didn't pay attention to where I was going."

"I noticed, that." Said a male voice touching her shoulders, trying to stabilize her while she kept looking at the floor to make sure she hadn't dropped any important files. "Hey Naru, you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine Motoki." Naru replied, finally looking at him with a nervous smile.

"I saw came from Usagi office, is everything all right? Naru, you can trust me." Asked Motoki, suspiciously, looking at where Naru was coming from.

"Motoki, I'm so worried! I… I entered her office, and Seiya was being forceful with her. Usagi keeps saying to me I shouldn't worry, but his actions say otherwise! I'm afraid of what he might have done if I didn't enter there."

"Thank you Naru, for letting me know. I'll keep an eye out and make sure nothing happens to Usagi, okay?"

"Okay, Motoki. Thank you so much."

As soon as Naru left his side and making sure no one was watching, Motoki picked up his mobile phone to make a call.

"Hey, it's me. You need to come now, she's in danger."


End file.
